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Avoid the Chit Chat Have you ever noticed how much Americans like to talk? They love to talk, they love to be talked to with their televisions and radios and computers constantly talking, talking, talking. They seem to delegate silence or stillness with those few get back to nature days (and even then, I noticed a kid with a GameBoy the last time I was in the park). There seems to be a fear of silence especially when we're conversing. The spaces in between words feel awkward to us. Someone HAS to be talking or we're simply not communicating effectively (or so it seems). And the worst is in sales, when we've got the product or service sold, and somehow we can't keep our mouths shut and therefore ruin our chances in some cases. We Just Don't Know Until We Elicit There's an English idiom that goes, "The devil is in the details." I'm sure you've all heard it. It implies that the small things in plans or schemes are often the things that take the most time in the long term. Well, in criteria elicitation, we need to dig a little deeper than just the surface act and get a little dirty with the details. The Truth About Integrity "The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." --Zig Ziglar Luck Is What You Make It "Luck? I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work -- and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't." --Lucille Ball On Gratitude "It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought Elegant Persuasion "Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple, or more direct than does Nature, because in her inventions, nothing is lacking and nothing is superfluous." --Leonardo da Vinci Charting Your Self Persuasion Territory "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman Question Framing Try this: I'm sure you'll get it real quick but because you're all such good folks out there, I want you to spell the word 'folk' three times. Do it right now in your mind. Spell the word 'folk' three times as fast as you can. Hammers and Nails: Framing Challenges "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and your discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be." -Patanjali (author and yogi) Exposing the Core "It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction." -- Pablo Picasso Emotional Sales Here's a bold statement, but one I'm willing to stand behind: forget about appealing to your prospect or client logically. In sales, appealing to logic comes a (way) distant second to appealing to their emotions. To illustrate this, I'm going to tell you a story about some college kids who learned this and put it to the test. The Persuasion Zone We've all heard of athletes who say they were really in 'the zone'. The zone is that perfect point where whatever we're doing is accomplished with ease and elegance whether it be playing an instrument, driving down the perfect road at the perfect speed on the perfect motorcycle, or selling to one prospect after another. The 'Misery is Not Miserly' Effect A recent study out of the J. F. Kennedy School for Government at Harvard has found that even momentary sadness causes consumers to increase spending. Gratitude and Persuasion "It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought The Consequences of Refusing to Persuade "No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority." --Joseph Addison Overcoming Frustration in Changing Times "You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." - Jim Rohn The Art of Procrastination "We shall never have more time. We have, and always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going... Concentrate on something useful." --Arnold Bennett Inoculating Yourself Against Rejection As children, we all had to have them -- painful shots which prevented all kinds of scary diseases. Inoculations were a necessary growing pain and as adults we understand this, but as little children, that didn't make any difference when all we cared about was that it hurt. It's All in the Attitude I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! I AM YOUR MASTER. I can make you rise or fall. I can make you a success or failure. I can work for or against you. I control your feelings and actions. I can make your heart sing with happiness. I can make you wretched, dejected, or morbid. I can make you angry and resentful. I can make you lonely, discouraged or depressed. I can make you sick, listless. I can be a shackle, heavy and burdensome. I can be a prism's hue, dancing bright and colorful. I can be nurtured and grown to be beautiful. I can never be removed, only replaced. I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! (author unknown) Are you Shoving Your Prospects Down a Rabbit Hole? Without naming names. . . a former student of mine has been attempting to teach the process of criteria elicitation. Persuasion, the way I know it and teach it, is a complex body of knowledge, and the fact that this student has synthesized it all down to this one question is fine, but only if you have no intention of working with a high end clientle. Embracing Luxury Phew! Boy, are things getting pricey. If we don't feel it, at least we've noticed it. Food is more expensive because delivering the food has become really expensive because gas prices are insanely inflated because we're heading into summer so that fear of scarcity is being amped up and . . . well, it's pretty darn complicated, isn't it? My point, things are expensive. Drinking from a Fire Hose While I'm thrilled that all my thirsty new students are so eager to learn that they'd work themselves into a frenzy to try to get it all at once, I don't want that passion for persuasion to become stressful or overwhelming. As one person put it, "I kind of feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose." I want you all to fear not. What Does Persuasion Have to do With Your Brain? "The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche Binding Persuasion Binds are a fascinating strategy in persuasion which should be used sparingly, a little 'persuasion seasoning' so to speak. Persuasion Without Thought I saw a funny bumper sticker the other day that said, "Don't believe everything you think." I'm not suggesting that thinking is overrated, although sometimes, well, maybe thinking is overrated. Listen to This "It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes Using the Law of Resonance Not long ago I heard a story that had something to do with one of the natural laws of the universe -- the Law of Resonance. This is similar but not exactly like the Law of Attraction which says that what you put out there is what you're going to attract into your life. Like attracts like. The Power of Focus in Persuasion We live in a world of distractions and this, I feel, is an understatement. We have so much coming at us from all arenas. . . Even as I sit here typing this, I'm getting alerts that I have new e-mail, I'm getting instant messages from my assistant, I've got my kids vying for attention, the dog wants to play, nature calls, I'm thirsty, the phone rings. Phew. It's exhausting just to write a paragraph with all of the other things intruding on concentration and focus. Choosing Your Own Way "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way." - Victor Frankl Productivity and Persuasion When we learn to persuade, we have the added bonus of being able to use our persuasion skills on ourselves. We are able to naturally accomplish anything when we can self-persuade. Reframe Your Bad Habits Into Good Some people bite their fingernails. Some twirl their hair or tap their fingers on the table. Some people have a habit they call 'smoking', which is not only a habit, but an addiction and creates a physical/psychological/mental need that can only be satiated with more cigarettes. Victim No More "Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander." --Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC Watch Your Mouth: Persuasive Oration Language, like persuasion, is an art. It's an art that can be mangled, yes. And as with any art, unless you're a prodigy, as Mozart was with music, as H.P. Lovecraft was with poetry, as Pablo Picasso was with painting, then most likely you will have to practice to be good at the art of language. Winning Through Framing I'm guessing this has never happened to you (or to anybody in the history of the world ever). You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, and you get pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks up to your car, you roll down the window, and he says, "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I think maybe a slight infraction of the law has occurred. . . I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind showing me your license and registration. I'm so sorry to inconvenience you here." Intrinsically Linked: Rapport and Criteria "You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you." --Arnold Bennett auditory adventures As you begin to listen to what I'm describing, you will hear the ways these words can describe anything and everything. When you orient your words to work with auditory people you will find it deeply resonating with them. Calm your voice for even greater appeal when verbalizing your message. When you tune in to what your clients and prospects are telling you, you become more empathetic thus assisting the rapport process. above and beyond: how to work with an affluent clientle I saw an article recently about the Ritz Carlton Hotel. It's a perfect example of what needs to be done in order to court and cater to (and persuade) an affluent client base. This is exactly the way to keep your clients interested and involved with you and your product or service. Getting Deeper Into Persuasion Continuums In the first article of this series, "Persuasion Continuums" I started to describe one of the slickest persuasion tools around. I'm going to take it a little further here. Getting Touchy Feely In a previous article, I gave an overview of VAK (recap: these are the visual, auditory and kinesthetic representational systems) and it's use in persuasion and gaining rapport. I also went into more detail about the 'V' (visual) in VAK in another article and obviously, with a title like having to do with touchy feely, I've moved on to the 'K' part, kinesthetic. The Use Of Scapegoats In Persuasion There was a period of time there where it seemed like every single car I'd see had a "United We Stand" bumper sticker. They were implying that standing together was our only salvation. After all, what happens if we don't stand united? We fall divided. The Reframing Of A Killer: Sugar Is Good As I was doing some internet research recently, I came across a banner ad that said, "Skip artificals. Go natural. Sugar: sweet by nature. Only 15 calories per teaspoon." How To Not Become Rich 1. Wait for approval or permission from society. Presupposition And Persuasion What if we could assume a mental position or thought that our prospects have to take for granted? The core concept has to be taken for granted just to make sense of what you're telling them without you having to name it. Building Your Persuasion Muscle I'm a new man. Over the last few years I've shed over one hundred and forty pounds of unwanted fat. I have a new attitude toward food and have learned to love the exercising. Flowing With Affluence Included in my advanced coaching club, we've made a recent addition: monthly one-on-one calls with my students. These calls have been thrilling for me, and really amazing in terms of learning how to tailor more of what I'm teaching to my students' needs and desires. We've discussed all kinds of topics from persuasion to affluence attraction to more spiritually oriented matters. Starting From The Beginning Persuasion is, at its core, the study of human nature. Human nature is sometimes predictable, sometimes not so predictable. We are complex organisms and even if all things were equal (environment, education, parenting, nutrition, finances) there would be some of us who would achieve and some of us who would not. A Big, Swift Kick In The Butt I've struggled with my weight my whole life. As far back as I can remember, I've felt bad about it. I was stuck in a body that wasn't what I wanted, that didn't fit with how I really saw myself and to me, it represented a weakness. Andrew Carnegie once said, "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." In my heart and mind, I felt this struggle was keeping me from self mastery and frustrated the heck out of me. To Be (sneaky) Or Not To Be (sneaky) A student of mine posted a comment on my blog recently. She noticed I used an example of a presupposition with the relationship between a teacher and student and suggested that maybe I was being sneaky using the example, as if my intention was to persuade her. Ways We Learn: Small Pieces Of Persuasion I recently had a student ask me, "Kenrick, how do you keep track all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a call, you pull out another technique. Sometimes I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'." The Collective Conscious And Unconscious Of Negativity "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." --Seneca, Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD Rapid Rapport With Storytelling Here's the scenario: you are face to face with a new prospect and they've heard a little bit about you or your reputation and the kind of person you are to work with, but maybe they still have a few questions, a few defenses up. It's your job to overcome these before they can trust you with their business. Organizing For Persuasion "Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Albert Einstein Persuading Through Personality Segmentation 'A part of me really wants to buy your product.' What does 'a part of me' mean? When someone says, 'well, part of me wants this, but another part wants that', what is that person talking about? Well, one thing is, this is a way for us to talk about our experiences. Who's To Blame? "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer Small Changes/big Changes 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' --Albert Einstein Stratagem And Persuasion "So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you win one and lose the next. If you do not know yourself or your enemy, you will always lose." -Ancient Chinese Proverb Can You See What I'm Saying? Visual Representational Systems In a previous article, I discussed the basics of the VAK (visual, auditory and kinesthetic) representational system and it's value in gaining rapport with an affluent clientle. In this article, I'm going to go more in depth with visual language. Persuasion And The Media "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche The Structuring Of Reality "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits Stop Selling On Autopilot Technology is both liberating and somewhat of a pain. I've been updating my computer again lately and have made a number of trips to my local computer super store for equipment. Usually I know what I need, I get in, find it, and leave. But on occasion, when I'm trying to find a more expensive item, I have an experience which I call 'Attack of the Sales Zombies'. Reframing Obstacles Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer The Power Of Imagination "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." --Wayne Dyer Luxurious Relativity "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." --Charlie Chaplin Leave It To The Future Future pacing is a phenomenal strategy that reminds your prospect of all the reasons they made the decision to purchase or sign up with you, and transfers all of those reasons to the future, reminding them why, through triggers and signals that you will have installed. Appealing Emotionally In Business This might, on the surface, sound a little out there, but here's something I find overrated: Rationality. Sure, sure, it's important to have a solid foundation, a base from which to work, feet planted firmly on the ground, and all that, but in business the idea of rationality has won out exclusively over all else. In my opinion, we've lost something in the transition from 'mom and pop' businesses to faceless corporations. An integral part of selling our products or services, especially when dealing with an affluent clientle, is our ability to reach them on an emotional level. How To Maintain Good Boundaries In Rapport "It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer Power Metaphors For Persuasion I understand that the concept of 'energy' seems a bit new-agey to some folks. Personally, I find it to be an integral part of understanding the 'self'. Understanding the self, is the first step in learning persuasion. The Forbidden As Persuasion 'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer Awareness Pattern In Persuasion "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." -Henry Miller A Linguistical Dance: Repetition In Threes "Rhythm is something you either have or don't have, and when you have it, you have it all over." -Elvis Presley Courage: Master The Fear "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear."--Mark Twain Blame As Persuasion: Use With Caution I have written previously about the term 'everything happens for a reason' as a technique to utilize the inherent trust many people have in this concept. I also wrote about how superstition can be a powerful persuasive tool. If you've read those articles and put the tools to work in your life, you already understand the power they hold. Your Own Personal Genie: Creating Your Universe In Pictures Are there things in life that you have wanted but which have eluded you? Material things, physical attributes, human connections-that for one reason or another you've simply been unable to achieve? Adjusting Your Lens So now we have some framing basics. By no means can framing be summed up in three little articles, but in that, there's a beginning foundation from which to build our persuasion arsenals. Real Resolution Here we are again, starting a new year with a clean slate. I love this time of year because it has all the hope of a new beginning and the opportunity to recreate ourselves one more time. I find this a very optimistic time and enjoy setting an intention each new year. The concept of creating our resolutions thrills me as I am relentless about self improvement and welcome every opportunity to map out a beautiful future. Calibration Effect My first job in sales was at a gym where I sold memberships. One of the trainers I worked with was a really great guy, friendly, sociable, funny and well liked. However, there are certain types of people that aren't comfortable with the extroverted personality type and this outgoingness sometimes brought him up against a wall with certain of his clients and made him somewhat ineffectual in his job. Yes! "All that man achieves, and all that he fails to achieve is a direct result of his own thoughts." -James Allen Setting Your Frame From The Start Everything has a beginning. A starting point. And when we have clarity and intention when we start something, it sets the way for what we can expect. When you sit down to start a presentation or begin to talk with a new client or prospect, how do you start? Using Superstition To Persuade: "there Are No Accidents" 'Very superstitious, writing's on the wall Very superstitious, ladders bout' to fall Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin' glass Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past The Edge: Persuade Using Our Ingrained Drive To Compete Lately I've been really dedicated to working out and recently I noticed something interesting at the gym. My gym is most definitely not a meat market. A very large percentage of the patrons are there because they care about their health and not for dating purposes or to see and be seen. Learning Persuasion I recently had a student ask me, "Kenrick, how do you keep track all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a call, you pull out another technique. Sometimes I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'." Trying On Someone Else's Skin You've heard the saying; you can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This is a technique on how to gain rapport by jumping into another person, stepping in, sliding in, moving in, being in that person, figuratively walking a mile in their shoes. Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Buyer's Remorse And How To Short Circuit It It's human nature to want to believe that we have done something of value when we make a purchase. We like to feel we've used proper sense and keen determination in choosing things that are going to be good for us and of the greatest use. And we most certainly want to know we'll feel good about the choices we've made in the long run. Short Circuiting Buyer's Remorse When making purchase large and small, it is human nature for us to want to make sure we've made sound and proper decisions with keen determination and an eye towards value and greatest use. Receptivity To Our Prospect's Energy Occasionally I work with concepts that some might consider odd or unusual or downright woo woo. I ask for your indulgence with these concepts if you are not of this particular mindset, because even if something is odd, it has potential to work. Self Calibration And Gut Instinct Intuition is defined as "the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process" [Oxford English Dictionary]. What Are You Full Of? When interacting with our affluent prospects and clients we need to exude confidence and self assuredness. We need to really show them what we're made of. There's a point, however, where confidence becomes over confident and assuredness becomes arrogance. These are not good qualities in a sales professional. Competence, self assurance, and confidence are excellent things to be full of. Tangible Symbols of Affluence Amulets (or objects that protect a person from trouble) and talismans (objects intended to bring good luck or protection) have been around since the dawn of man. Seriously, the first man probably saw a shell or a rock, picked it up, and thought, 'Hey, this is a great rock (or shell). I'll bet it's a special rock (or shell) and will bring me good luck and protect me from evil." Persuasion Through Isolation At the end of last year a documentary about the cult leader Reverend Jim Jones came out called "Jonestown: The Life And Death of People's Temple". It was the history of Jonestown through photos, film clips, recordings and interviews of surviving members of the murder/"suicide" of over 913 people. Persuading Through Desires This is a subject that's near and dear to my heart. I've been exploring it over the last year and a half and have had some tremendous results with self persuasion and self mastery in this arena. The Key to Creating Group Rapport When I was first starting out in the business of persuasion, I had some difficulty with anxiety surrounding live events and seminars. Prior to a seminar for about a week, I'd become unbearable to be around. The wife and kids avoided me, even the dog steered clear. I didn't like it, but thought it was just the cost of doing business. And as if that weren't bad enough, after the event, I'd have an equally difficult "crash" or let down, not because the event wasn't successful, but because a huge amount of energy was expended and released and left me feeling as if I needed some recovery time. I'm a Believer: The Intent Behind Persuasion The term baggage is definitely an overused pop psychology term in our culture. We use it to describe the excesses and useless junk we carry around with us from our worst childhood memories to when our romantic relationships went bad to all manner of past problems we can't seem to shake or get rid of. Emotional Persuasion Through Storytelling Sometimes I cry during movies. I'm not ashamed to admit it. In fact, I'm completely at ease and comfortable with the emotions that a good story elicits in me. Movies are stories and stories have been used to bring out emotions since the dawn of time. The better the story, the more moving it is. These responses can be manifested as a 'tear jerker' or a 'feel good', they can be used to inspire, uplift, give hope, or merely entertain. Keep this uppermost in your mind as you think about storytelling: stories open up a hole, so to speak, in the listener, that you can fill with a message. Your message. Layers of Complexity in Life and Persuasion: I Am An Onion I love metaphors. Lately, an especially potent one for me is the layers of an onion as metaphor for human nature. This method, the Cleveland Method, deals with a deep understanding of unconscious motivations and core drives. Only by focusing inwards can we genuinely understand others. The Power of Unselfconscious Affluence We didn't all grow up affluent. I know for a fact that several of my students, in fact, are literally rags to riches stories. Through single-minded perseverance, intention, education, hard work, and maybe a little luck, they have created financial universes for themselves that are quite enviable and outstanding. Be Like A Magnet A woman I know, an extremely spiritual person, recently shared with me the following: 'I used to have unfortunate beliefs about myself and I received back from external influences unfortunate results. When I decided to take control and raise my resonance, to be the change I wanted to become, to allow abundance and love come flow through me, absolutely everything fell into place. I am now living a life of leisure with a beautiful husband and I can draw what I want into my universe at will.' Manifesting Your Desires with Paper Seeds My grandfather played a big role in my youth. He taught me a lot of very important lessons including the Biblical verse: As you sow, so shall you reap. Outside Your Box If you're in the world of sales, it's likely you've gone through traditional sales training and learned that there is 'a way' to sell. Maybe it was the Carnegie method. Maybe you learned 'features and benefits'. Maybe you learned some other easily definable, package-able way to sell to clients or prospects which sort of hammers away at their defenses and attempts to corner them into buying. These techniques are responsible for boxing in many excellent sales professionals. I admit to having been hindered once by these techniques but I had an awakening. Storytelling Persuasion 'Facts and figures are forgotten. Stories are retold.' -Jeffrey Gitomer Contrary: Dealing with Polarity Responders All of us have known a polarity responder at one time or another. A polarity responder, regardless of the situation, will respond in opposition to anything you say. 'It's a beautiful day.'
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